Turning Point

The whole year of 2014 to 2016 is my turning point phase. If 25 is the time of quarter life crisis, 27 can be the time to work on the crisis, and 28 is to start again after the crisis.

Along these two years, I have decided to go on the next level of life, living on my own. I know I cannot rely on people anymore and I have to start taking care of things that worth my effort. But I also should not forget there will be always people around to help me going through the ups and downs.

It started with my dad’s retirement in the beginning of 2014. My family would be relying on the eldest so I need to think how to earn more so I can support everyone in the family. On work, I was working my ass of a tender to a prestigious building with good team and a great Project Manager. The second semester I decided to pursue a QS career (I like doing QS duties, and I want to do more) and that was when we were told to call the tender off, the team was disappointed and some people underestimated our effort. The manager decided to move to his hometown for good and transferred us to ongoing project. Surprisingly, my new role on the ongoing project is a QS. What a coincidence.

Ozem was the greatest project I have been in so far. I built up my confidence during in there. I managed to control my fear and had some people backing me up. Through 2015, there were so much going on. I got my heart broken that deep, but surprisingly I got moved on really quick. The quickest moved on process over of my whole heart broken experiences ngahahahah. Even in the end of 2015, my broken heart was nothing compared to my sadness on how am I going to do with my life as the project is nearly ending with my Commercial Manager had to depart. Boy, two times crying over a boss (I was also crying when the Project Manager decided to move).

Other than work and love life (WHAT KIND OF LOVE LIFE HAHAHA), I feel some changes in my personality. Oh, I am still an introvert, no change on that. I am still a shy person, no worries hahaha. Yet I met pretty much people with different personalities, I learned that you should know which one that really suits you and you cannot get along with. You will know to whom you can be opened with and share your thoughts. In a nutshell, I can finally lower down my wall towards new people and start a conversation with them. Which is bringing me to realize that networking is really important. You will meet many people and they will be your next colleague, your boss, your partner, your mentor, or your spiritual adviser.

I always feel nervous when I have to meet a lot of people and talk in a meeting. There is always fear coming when people are paying attention to me talking, I normally freak out and feel the urge to run. But it seemed to change during this year. I manage to control my anxiety when talking in front of some people, starting from one or two person. I even like tender clarification meeting (which usually the whole day with more than 10 people to deal with).

People would assume I am a workaholic, because I like to talk about work, I like to update about my job and projects I have been involved. But actually I am just a really lazy potato that still like to take a shower only once during the weekends, have rubbish chats over Whatsapp or junk food, drown myself into a pile of mangas, hoarding (e)books, doing Netflix and chill/binge-watching beauty vloggers on Youtube after work, and sleep right after my head hitting the pillow (or anything to lean on, like your shoulder).

Some people have different approach on how and when they will find out the true meaning of life so what is the point of rushing anything, anyway. Life is not always a competition. There are only moments when you have to choose to just go with the flow or leave it or do something.

Next year I will be 29. Which the final year being in the twenties (but I am always feeling 22 ngahahahah). There are plans that has been settled, however you know how God works, right. He always prepares surprises.

I was planning to post something light, like VOV Cushion’s review (which I just bought). Or fangirling over shoujo’s mangas boys’ characters but yeah my brain sometimes works too hard and I don’t know how to calm it down

Featured image from here

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