[EF#8] Time is an illusion

Hi younger self,

I remember you did not have good relationship with your father. You could not tell him what you were thinking. You could not argue with him in proper tone. Everything about your dad was not good.

He was a jerk, you said (So sorry, dad). Yes, he was. He was stubborn. Of course. He was a man full of anger, also mean. Well, he still is. He didn’t understand you. You didn’t know how to tell him what has been going on your head.

Don’t worry. As time passed, you will find a  way to communicate properly with him. Even better, you’ll be surprised how actually you can chat with him just like you chat with your mom or your sisters. Not often, but at least you finally can tell him what you think.

Dear younger self,

You were full of plans. You will get into your desired major, architecture! You didn’t get into that famous campus in town, anyway. You were crying when you didn’t see your name in the local newspaper and failed to make your dad proud. You’ll laugh about that one day.

In the age of 18, you imagined yourself working in a fancy and luxurious office, in a team full of your good friends at that time although you were still struggling with your endless assignments. Even when your GPA was really bad on last semester and had a thought to move to another major you thought would be more suitable for you. You were full of energy and very optimistic.  (But still,  a procrastinator until you’re 26)

Spoiler alert, the next year, you will decide that you will never ever be an architect, as most of your college friends were dreaming of. Yet, you will graduate in the right time.

You’ll get a job in your self-acclaimed-hometown after hunting and strolling around one town to another. A little bit different industry, still in the same field. Big, luxurious, fancy office? No. Not after 3 years since you graduated. You will learn A LOT. It’s hard to compete with others that has more related knowledge than what you have.

Maybe you are now dreaming of working as a young executive, with stunning dress and cute shoes doing a presentation to prospectus clients.

Well, you hate doing presentation. And you’ll start from the very bottom of an architecture graduate would pursue (that dislike by some of your college friends they prefer to have another job in the different field).

It’s okay to still be confused even when you have 2 or 3 years experiences. You just like to try new  things. Ah, you’ll realize that you really like numbers and get a job that you like to do, with numbers.

Dear younger me,

You were a shy girl. You will always be. You hate to start conversation with strangers. You don’t know how to break the ice. You don’t know how to respond properly to something you’re not really interested in. You don’t have many friends.

Sure, you’ll meet many people along the way. Same age, older, younger. But, when you reach 25, you’ll lose them, one by one. You left, they stayed. They left, you stayed. You moved out, they moved in.

You will only manage a few that still stay.Some probably will decide to no longer reply to your messages or calls forever. Some will still share stories. Others probably will say they will visit you (oh, you will move to the big city, haven’t I told you?) but they never came (even until I write this hahaha).

You’ll have a time when you really really hate the society. You will tell the closest persons that many times. You’ll still find it very hard to blend with most of people. You can’t please everybody, right?

A friend of a friend once posted on her Path:

Do into others what you want to be done into you. But don’t expect others to do the same, you’ll have a bad time. Rather pleasantly surprised when they do.

Well, you’ll be surprised how someone can treat you nice eventhough you never asked or wished them to. You’ll also be disappointed, many times.

Dear younger self,

You suck at boys departement, I tell you that. You’ll get around with men most of your time. But still, heuh.

I wish future me could tell us now what will happen on that part. We’ll get to that, maybe next time.

Hey younger me,

Time is an illusion.

Here is a good song from the future for you. I know you said you didn’t like Keira Knightley because she’s too pale and skinny. You’ll change your mind. (Of other things, too)

[EF #10) My Comfort Food Jakarta Marathon 2014


I also love Lost Stars in Keira version.
I love your letter for younger you 🙂

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